A billion blogs, and you came here? Well, certainly it illustrates your supreme judge of character, and your uncanny ability to eye the truly valuable in a universe of mundane. What? I’m not kidding. You know how I can reach down to the depths of my soul and drag up the most original piece of writing imaginable, fully aware that someone else has already imagined it. This is the purpose here, it’s what I do best, it is my personal unintended consequence. That’s why you are here, alone, because of the true novelty at the tip of my pen. Yep, I can express myself in ways anyone can imagine and nobody can possibly comprehend.
By the way, my three day run of zero site hits was broken today by your visit, and judging by the spike you created on my stat graph, you are a VIP indeed, yes, yours is a place of dominance.
Wait! Don’t run off yet! You passed on a billion other blogs, and by the touch of fate no doubt, found yourself here, so that has to count for something! At least give me another paragraph to convince your intellect that you should never have visited, and it was merely a search engine mishap.
Please… Then, my stats will say you were here longer than twenty seconds, and I will be humbled that a human read something I wrote. Ooh, and if you click something, I’ll think you wanted to see more, and my blog would suddenly be justified, by something other than my twelve year old’s opinion (which I respect – she’s smarter than me).
Oh yeah, also leave a comment, for sure, that way, one of the other people that never comes here will read it, and you’ll share the fame that only I could have imagined. Click “Like” also, works the same way… that’s how I got discovered by somebody last week. Ah, fame.
Hey, you’re still here!? What’s wrong with you? You’re a Psycho-what? Therapist? Crap, I knew there was a catch. Well, better a lab rat than a cockroach, I say, but you knew I’d say that before you said that I thought you would hear them say that, didn’t you!? You’re very clever.
Okay, good, you are interested, on a strictly clinical basis of course, but I’ll take it. Just randomly read a few of my posts, and you’ll have all you need for your thesis. SubConch is pronounced with a CH, like CHeese, and CHurCH, just for reference and citation. And why do church vans need to be labeled as such? Is it like “God’s riding in here so Back Off!”? I digress, another reason they are here.
Finally, and you mean finally, I am the expert that you’d expect to express exponentially, the hermit extreme externalizer of extroversions, blogger in a billion extraordinaire, the exigent rare find of your existence, should you be majoring in psych-something-or-other….
Hello?… helloooo… hello-o-o–o—o- – – o